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結婚式前夜

「のび太の結婚前夜」というドラえもんの映画があった。成長したのび太がしずかちゃんと結婚する前日に、のびたとドラえもんがタイムマシンで訪れ様子をみるという話だったと思う。昔、いつだったか、レンタルして観た記憶がある。

明日、僕ものび太ばりに結婚式を挙げる。「結婚する」のでないのは、すでに半年以上前に入籍を終え、法的には既婚者となっているからだ。そして、パートナーとの共同生活も、それ以来継続している。

それでも、いくつかの書類と印鑑とサインを揃え、役所に提出してしまえば完了する入籍は、あくまでステイタスの変更であって、通過儀礼としての結婚式と披露宴を経て自分の属する社会集団の承認を得ることとはやや実感が異なる。そう、フィリピンで諸事情からカトリックの教会婚を挙げることができずCivil Marriageと呼ばれる行政婚を上げた人々が、「Civil lang(籍だけだから)」と俯きがちにいうような。

いや、式も披露宴も、別にしなくても愛し合いともに暮らし生きていくという結婚のあり方に何も違いがあるわけではない。ただ、この数ヶ月、明日のために通過してきた様々な準備や手続きを思うとき、籍を入れたときと同じかそれ以上に不思議な気分になるだけ。ああ、僕は結婚するんだな、と。

ここにいたるまで、多くの人たちから「結婚式は、女の人が主役だから。男はおまけだから」と何回も聞いた。もちろん、がんばってタキシードを着る僕よりも、彼女の白く美しいウェディングドレス姿が輝くのは間違いない。でも僕はそれでもいいたい。結婚式は、祝いに来てくれる人たちが、これまで支えてくれたこと、育んでくれたことへの感謝なんだ、だから主役はゲストの方々なんだって。

その気持ちを強く持ちながら、わりとしんどい結婚式のためのいくつかのステップを越えてきた。もちろん、その過程でやはり家族や友人たちのサポートを受けることになった。いや、むしろ、一つ一つのステップはすべてそれらサポートによって乗り越えられたものかもしれない。まるで僕の、僕たちの幸運すぎる人生を、圧縮して照らし出したかのように。人と人以外の何かという他者の力によって導かれ、たどり着いたこの場所。

明日、会場でお会いする人たち、会場でお会いできない人たち、すべてこれまで僕と、僕たちを支え育んでくれた人たちへの感謝をこめて、意識を失うくらい全力で結婚しようと思います。ありがとう。この先の道のりはまた果てしなく、多分皆さんのお力を求めてしまうだろうけれど、少なくとも2人でできることは2人で行うことができるようなパートナーに、なりたいと思います。

明日の天気はいいらしい。いい式になりますように。いい式にしようか。きっとなるだろう。

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Comments

改めて、どうか、お幸せに。むかごさんにもよろしく。

Posted by: えむ | October 08, 2011 11:58 PM

おめでとう。
何年もあってないけどタキシード姿が目に浮かびます。
おめでとう。

Posted by: karube | October 09, 2011 01:42 AM

この日を無事に迎えられたこと、ほんとによかったね。

そしてこれまでの準備の日々、おつかれさま!

今日はこころゆくまで楽しんでくださいね。

Posted by: yukko | October 09, 2011 07:04 AM

>えむさん

ありがとうございます。無事式を終えました。むかごは今日も元気です。

>karube

ありがとう!お久しぶりです。あの頃、毎日のようにタキシード着てたからね。結婚式ではオーダーのものを着たので、着心地よかったです。

>yukko

ありがとう。本当、準備がこれほど大変だとは知らなかった。でも、皆さんのおかげで無事に終えることができました。

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